Top 5 Most Overrated Board Games

These are the 5 most overrated board games, in no particular order.

Playing a game of Monopoly is like making a new years resolution. It sounds great at first, but then you quickly realize that you’ve made a terrible mistake and just want to quit. (Don’t act like you’ve finished a game of Monopoly before.) You can essentially build a house faster in the real world than you can in Monopoly.

The main point of this game is for one individual to have sufficient control over the board and make it impossible for the others to gain any ground. Which, in the real life, is basically illegal. So, if you’re going to be doing something illegal, then why would you want to waste it on buying property? I can come up with at least 20 illegal things that I would rather be doing instead of trying to monopolize the railroad industry.

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Instead of actually enjoying the day and doing something productive with our life, we sit down and play a make believe one. (And people wonder why they’re fat.) The Game of Life teaches kids how to budget correctly, start a career, buy a home, support a family, invest in some stock, and plan their retirement. Which honestly sounds like the most boring premise on the planet. You might as well just give me some homework to do while I’m at it.

And how exactly is pretending to pay your taxes fun? There has never been a time when someone has been excited about doing that. Never. Not only that, but I’m still curious as to the strategy involved with this game. Your entire ‘life’ depends on the fate of the cards you draw. Which means that even the best player can completely suck at Life. Now that’s just stupid. How about we just flip a coin and determine a winner based on that? At least then we can go on with our day and not waste three hours spinning a stupid wheel.

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If it wasn’t for the suspect names, then Clue would totally blow. Why? Well, the weapons are too friggin’ tiny (meaning they always get lost) and you don’t even get to play with them while they’re out. What kind of crappy deal is that? And why hasn’t anyone pointed out the fact that this game is about murder? Parents just seem to completely overlook that little nugget.

Now I’m not saying that murder is a bad idea for a game; all I’m saying is that the premise of this game is completely flawed. Why would anyone stay in a mansion where someone has just died? That makes no sense to me. Instead of walking in and out of every room, why don’t they just leave? And if they’re locked in the mansion, then why don’t they just all work together? That seems like the logical thing to do. If kids follow the guidelines to this game, then not only will they fail at being a team player, but they will also be killed. It’s as simple as that.

I suggest that Clue be called ‘Escape’, and the object should be to find clues on how to get the hell out of there. At least then it would make sense.

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I don’t care what any of you ‘words with friends’ people think. Scrabble sucks and you know it. The people that like Scrabble are the same people that like to “play” Sodoku and complete the Wall Street Journal crossword puzzles. I just don’t get it. Since when has spelling become a favorite past time? Are you really trying to tell me that spelling words is more fun than tossing around a football or not spelling words? (Don’t even try to defend yourself because I won’t believe you.) There is no way that putting 5 tiles down on a board to spell ‘mango’ is exciting. How about you stop pretending like you’re intelligent and actually do something worthwhile. I suggest going outside.

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When is the last time someone actually won a game of Risk? Seriously. I’m pretty sure more people have quit this game than have played it (think about that one for a bit). The only real ‘risk’ that I can see with this game is the overwhelming urge to fall asleep while playing. I mean it’s kind of cool to pretend to dominate the world, but if it takes 8 hours to do it, then you can count me out. And when the best part of the game is rolling the dice, then you have a real problem.

I say we make this game interactive and let the players actually shoot miniature cannons at their ‘enemies’. I guarantee this game would be 10x more fun if that happened. In fact, I’d even go as far to say that it might even be cooler than Crossfire “The Rapid Fire Shoot-out Game”.

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Tagged: board games, boring board games, Clue, Crossfire, Life, Monopoly, overrated games, Risk, Scrabble, sodoku

Posted in: Random